Tag Archives: identity

The Subtle Rebel

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“I always thought eating was a ridiculous activity anyway. I’d get out of it myself if I could, though you’ve got to do it to stay alive, they tell me.”
Margaret Atwood, The Edible Woman

Often I get this irresistible urge to just run – run away – and there is no substantial reason. The kind of life I’ve been given is a blessing. I must not complain! But the urge is there just the same. In all the while that I have looked to reason this irrationality, I’ve only felt like running away some more. And then I found The Edible Woman.

This 1965 ‘pre-feminst’ novel by Margaret Atwood challenges gender stereotypes. A correlation is drawn between the protagonist losing her self and losing her appetite, all due to her engagement to an ultra-suave, chauvinist boyfriend Peter.

In a beautifully incorporated narrative, the author Margaret Atwood shifts from first person to third person as Marian, the protagonist loses her identity; and shifts back to the first person when Marian regains her sense of self.

Marian’s loss of appetite is a metaphor for her perception of herself as the prey, her fiancé as the hunter and also as a rebellion towards accepting the stereotype of being the perfect wife. She detests her passive being. She begins identifying herself with a piece of steak which is hunted or with the raw materials that are shaped into her fiance’s new flat.

If Marian’s loss of appetite is a metaphor for her hunger to find herself,  my running away is a metaphor for what?

As Marian struggles to find out what she wants, she meets Duncan, a man who defies every stereotype possible. His character is described as disjointed, unemotional, morose, mundane and gloomy – a complete contrast to Peter’s extravagant, genteel life.  Their affair is as vague as their conversations are and their meetings are usually in a laundromat and their affair reaches it’s climax in a cheap, sleazy lodge. But, the influence of Duncan’s subtle defiance finally tells Marian what is eating her – it’s Peter all along!

At this stage of the book,  I begin to wonder what fuels my urge to run. I was just beginning to strangely identify with Marian’s messy head, and she had found her solution?

When I paused to think, it struck me. I run away because there is a rebel sitting in my head. A rebel whose existence I do not want to acknowledge! It rebels against roles I need to play, things I need to do, ways in which I need to behave. It rebels against what I want people to think of me. Further, it’s rebelling against the conformist that I am. The thought seemed funny to me! I enjoy being this boring conformist. This rebel was forcing me to become an active being. Am I then running away from myself?

Marian’s struggle was easy to identify with because her body is rebelling for her, against the same things my mind is… in fact, most minds or bodies hate such constraints.

As Marian begins to regain her sense of self, she decides to make her conflict physical. She bakes a cake, shaped like a woman, with immense detail – the hair, the eyes, the lips – and feeds it to Peter saying, “This is what you really want.”

I can’t bake a cake to save my life, it doesn’t solve this inherent conflict either.

Even actually running does not help. I only end up with sore feet at the end of the day.

But, Marian resolving her conflict made me feel good about having that rebel sitting in my head. The conformist in me will not resolve my conflict, but The Edible Woman helped reason the irrationality.

That’s what you call a good book!

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